Friday, 26 July 2013
There is a battlefield in our house. It happens three times a day sometimes more if I am lucky. Two hours of torturous patients testing run your nails along the blackboard hell. So please if you have suggestions or have been there before I would love to hear about it. There is no secret that I love food, but my son is having one of those stages. You know the stages where they refuse to do anything you ask, no matter the discipline put in place, the consequences the confiscations, the rewards the praise. I have done it all, from ignoring to rewarding.
I got sick of hearing 'me no like it' and refusing to eat when he wouldn't even taste it. I got sick of finding something else for him to eat. So I flipped. I flipped. No more! I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. You are going to sit there and you are not going to move until you have finished it kind of flipped.
So it worked and it didn't, there was some gagging, some vomiting (he was also sick at the time so think it was a combination of not liking and not feeling well - these days he got away with not eating anymore dinner), counting, lot's of time out (this was mainly when we knew he liked something and had eaten a small portion of his dinner and then started stuffing around), taking away rewards, eating or drinking those rewards in front of him so he could see the consequence being taken aways from him (this was done slowly so he had a chance to rectify his behaviour, - which he often did). There was lots of trying news foods, lots of praise, lots of rewards.
So where are we at? There are days where he will try and eat new foods, these are mainly foods with a lot of spice and flavour. There are days where he has sat at the table for hours, I really do mean hours. The main reason for this and what triggered it is that we do not like waste, especially when a food was asked for. When a food has been asked for this is when I am most strict. You cannot ask me to eat a banana or peanut butter sandwich and then refuse to take a bite out of it. We go through ebbs and flows where he will eat everything on his plate with not much effort on our behalf, and there are days like today where you just want to yell and scream and do a little eat the freakin food dance.
Is this just an attention thing? A stubborn and controlling thing? Something I need to stick with? Because I am getting exhausted! Exhausted of wasting 6 hours of my day coaxing, coaching, encouraging, bribing, begging, pleading and disciplining around food, something that has is should be an enjoyable moment.
Honestly today I had enough and just let him go hungry, why because he didn't want to eat his lunch and when I told him he needed to and handed out a warning, he asked me in the sweetest voice to go to timeout. WHAT?????? I figured he could go hungry, and when he asked me to eat he could have another go at his uneaten lunch, no exceptions. And if he refuses to eat all day then he can go to bed hungry and we would start again.
So what is your strategy. I don't want to cook two meals, I want him to eat family meals. I don't have time and energy to run a cafe with a menu that is changed daily, if I did I would have set one up that caters to paying customers.